Rules and policies

Rules

1. Normally in my servers, everyone has to be 18 or older, but in this server, everyone has to be 25 or older. This isn't because of the brain development stuff, because I don't believe in that, but I'm genuinely only attracted to those close to or older than my body's age, and 25 is the youngest at which someone stops seeming like a "young adult" to me. There is no upper age limit. I have been friends with Gen X'ers and Boomers IRL and found them pleasant. Please check the Social Rodent site if you don't fit this age requirement but want to be in one of my servers.

2. In addition to being an adult, everyone also has to be mature. Take responsibility for yourself, including your headmates. Accept criticism gracefully. Don't have meltdowns in the server if you can possibly help it (and, if you can't help it, maybe learn better emotional self-regulation before being in a server like this). If you are breaking this rule in the server, I may politely call you out on it in the server.

3. This server is trying to be a pleasant environment. Be nice to each other. No harassment. No bigotry. Don't be a nuisance. Take responsibility.

4. This server doesn't have a blacklist per se, but you're encouraged (and, by common decency, required) to spoiler heavy topics, NSFW topics, or overly negative talk if it comes up outside of designated spaces. While I understand you can be fictionkin with these things, this server also forbids positive discussion of JK Rowling's media or fictional characters or real people who are Nazis. I know there are sometimes situations where a character can be mistaken for a Nazi (e.g. Pink from The Wall), so if I criticize a character for being a Nazi but you think I'm mistaken, feel free to clarify in the server or in DMs, but I have the final say. This doesn't include excessively fictionalized fascists like Star Wars villains or the like. Please do not request that I extend this blacklist. Please do not tempt me, either.

5. Because we are a programmed system, RAMCOA is allowed to be discussed in the server, including offhanded mentions of being programmed, but keep your safety in mind and spoiler anything in-depth outside of designated areas. There are two designated discussion channels and two designated venting channels about it. Please disclaim sensationalized or questionable sources if they come up. I may make a larger section to discuss RAMCOA if it comes up a lot or interest is expressed.

6. In most of my servers, you have to verify within 48 hours of joining or else you will be kicked. In this server, you have 72 hours to verify, because I know there's a lot to read here. If you are kicked for failure to verify within the time limit upon the first time you join, you are free to rejoin again later if you verify as soon as you can upon rejoining.

7. I do not want to have to add more rules, but I may as necessary. Don't be the reason I have to add a new rule or policy. The exception is that it is okay to request policies in the interest of accessibility or combatting bigotry.

Policy on venting and politics

I don't feel like I can fully ban venting or politics from this server, because I believe "venting" can be subjective, and so can "political". I also wouldn't want to FULLY ban those things in a server about forming relationships.

However, things like political doomposting, really heavy and nihilistic venting, public spiraling, making the people of the server take care of you, etc. are forbidden. This ties into Rule 3, but it warrants being spelled out.

There are multiple vent channels, so that people who don't like venting don't have to see it. If venting arises in other parts of the server, please spoiler it. You don't have to spoiler it or censor it quite as much in your personal channels, but be mindful of the server's expectations for mature conduct.

If a channel says "vent" in it, it's for "regular grade" venting. Please spoiler particularly heavy topics if they come up. If a channel says "heavy-vent", it's for venting about heavier topics like sexual abuse, organized abuse, etc. This does not mean "please vent heavily" here.

Policy on NSFW

Due to the nature of this server (i.e. a dating server run by a very selectively sex-favorable kinky asexual), there is going to be some amount of NSFW here, possibly even a lot. At the same time, I don't like moderating a lot of sexual material that I'm not into, which includes most things that people would think of as non-kinky porn.

Adult topics (e.g. sex, kink, substances) can be mentioned in all parts of the server if you censor anything you consider gratuitous. There are also specific channels where you can mention NSFW or adult topics without spoilering it. This includes NSFW images, although please consider how I've described my interest in sex and that I will not be impressed by having to moderate a lot of really graphic sexual images. Please keep NSFW to art, selfies, text, and audio.

Where it comes to kinks, this server operates on the principle of Your Kink Is Not My Kink And That's Okay. People who mention kink may mention being into kinks that you are not into. Please do not complain about kinks you dislike. Some valid criticisms are fine if they come up, but be mindful that this is meant to be a largely discourse-free environment, and to be nice to each other.

Due to purely legal concerns, please do not spend much if any time discussing fiction that depicts underage characters in sexual situations, especially and namely for gratification, or where their presence is intended as a kink. The same policy goes for discussions of real-life discussions of pedophilia or zoophilia; some mentions as related to personal trauma (in accordance with other rules) is fine. Some discussion of darker themes (e.g. fictional incest) is okay too.

Accessability policies

This server's accessibility policies are based on the needs of the people who use it. If somebody joins this server and needs accommodations that the server does not already give them, they are encouraged to mention this in their application process or DM me about it.

Currently, this server has no particular accessibility policies, because nobody who is currently in the server has expressed need for them.

Sometimes, accessibility requests create conflicting needs. For example, I use flashing graphics as AAC tools and cannot give IDs for them when non-verbal. While I like to think I am able to come up with solutions that balance everyone's needs, that means adding accessibility features sometimes looks like a conversation between myself and the person who needs accessibility, not just me complying straightforwardly with a request.

However, I will never fully reject a request for accessibility unless it's something like introducing a blacklist so you don't have to see topics you find triggering but that are usually harmless.

Personal channels

Personal channels are a feature of this server. You can call yours anything and post anything you want. You are also allowed to discuss adult topics and dark fiction in the user channels.

In the interest of keeping the server active and making sure no one feels left out, it's recommended you add some kind of comment or response to anything you see someone else post in their channel. If not, you can emoji-react to their posts. You could also post things in people's personal channels that remind you of them (e.g. if there's a user who likes axolotls, posting pics of axolotls in their channel for them to see).

If you want to frequently talk about dark topics and trauma in your channel, you may, but if you foresee yourself doing this, I would prefer you request that I put some kind of content warning in the description of your channel.

Further questions

I prefer to handle most questions privately, because in order to answer them, I sometimes find myself having to explain my thought processes, and I dislike doing so in a semi-public space where I may not explain things right on the first try.

Please use the owner-mod-ping channel to ping me (or, if applicable, a moderator) to DM me about the matter privately.

Depending on what it is, I may add a new policy or rule addressing whatever you brought up. This does NOT fit under "don't be the reason I have to add a new rule"; that's more in reference to when people cause problems and FORCE me to add new rules. New rules added as per private discussions are up to my own discretion.