About
Intro
Hello! We are Ix/Darian/the Local Void, a polyfragmented mixed origins DID system. We are looking for a partner system and using this site and its associated server to do so!
We are:
- 32
- veldian/gay male
- intersex
- polyamorous
- aroace-spec
- kinky (albeit with some difficulties engaging in it due to trauma)
- American (Northern California)
- white with Mexican heritage
- mentally ill
- disabled/unemployed (on government benefits)
We are looking for a male or male-/masc-aligned romantic partner or partner system who is in a similar enough age range to us (or older), has interests or traits in common with us, doesn't mind dating a system or that we have fictional partners, and will accept us as we are.
We have three queerplatonic partners currently, but these are more like labeled close friendships (sometimes involving kink) than what this server is dedicated to looking for. Specifically, we are looking for romance with someone that we are romantically, aesthetically, and (potentially) sexually attracted to.
However, due to being aroace-spec, we do not always feel these ways about someone as soon as we could, and there might be times where we don't develop attraction until the other person does. We also have preferences that some people might consider specific, due to not finding many people who fit them, while being willing to date outside them if that's who we end up connecting with.
Therefore, we have made this server to make it easier to find the right person/people and get to know them!
The lower age limit of this server is 25 because that's the youngest age at which someone stops being young to me. There is no upper age limit. We've been friends with Gen X'ers and Boomers IRL and, at least when meeting the right ones (which is true of all demographics), have found them pleasant and even dateable people.
This server is loosely themed around music and the old web because we have a lot of musician factives and songtives (namely from classic rock, but a few from goth and industrial bands too) and we remember and like the old web. Hopefully you do too!
Us summarized
The "
We're disabled and on government benefits, and we go out a lot for someone with agoraphobia. We manage a ring of Discord servers, which is our main social hobby online. Our main social hobby offline is karaoke, and we are locally known for our performances there. We plan to do live tribute performances in town after top surgery.
We're gay in a way where we're exclusively attracted to men, but male/masculine-aligned people who aren't men MIGHT be within our attraction. We don't have a lot of experience with attraction or relationships, so it's hard to say certain things for certain.
We are consistently attracted to men older than ourselves, alt/goth men, and men who are GNC (usually in an androgynous rather than feminine way). We have a very difficult time developing attraction to people at all due to being aroace-spec. It's possible that we also develop attraction to people who we know or suspect are attracted to us.
We are mentally ill and traumatized, as well as a programmed system, but we have our mental health decently under control and expect the same of a partner. We have queerplatonic partners, in-system relationships, and self-ships, and we will continue to have these and treat them as important even if dating a romantic partner.
We are kinky, and we view romance through a kink lens, but actively engaging with kink over the internet is difficult for us for several reasons. We would ideally want the relationship to have some kind of D/s flavor to it, especially petplay related to therianthropy, but different members of my system would see themselves on different sides of that.
Opinions and stances
Our system is politically left-leaning, but we dislike conforming too rigidly to specific political labels. We are in favor of personal freedom and the dismantling of oppression on both a societal and individual level, and we believe the purpose of a government is to take care of the people who live under it.
Our system dislikes internet discourse and people who identify too strongly with it. However, we are inclusionists and support "contradictory identities". We enjoy fiction and kink with dark themes, so we would be considered "anti anti", but we think people are short-sighted and binaristic about shipcourse labels. We are against generative AI.
We support some of the experiences of the transID community, but we feel they should use a different term for what they're going through (e.g. desirdae). Transspecies is not part of transID because it was coined much earlier. We are pro stigmatized mental health conditions. We are anti contact for consent-related paraphilias, and we are anti-radqueer.
This is considered a profiction-aligned server as well as an endo-friendly server. If you have a DNI against proshippers or endogenic systems, this is not the place for you.
We understand that political and discourse issues are important and affect a lot of people, but we usually don't like when people make arguing, venting, and especially discourse a big part of their personality, so be aware of that.
Polyamory and plurality
Depending on how you look at it, romantically dating us is necessarily a polyamorous experience. We have two queerplatonic partner systems and one QPP who isn't a system. While these are more like labeled close friendships than romantic relationships, they are still labeled relationships.
Furthermore, we are a system, and we would prefer it to be that a system we were dating saw themselves as collectively dating and attracted to the collective, not just individuals in the system. We've tried individual alter dating before, and it doesn't work for us. However, we do also enjoy having individual relationships between alters when dating a system, and different members of our system may have different feelings about you.
Despite having BPD, we do not suffer from jealousy at all, and we are completely okay with our partners being polyamorous and having other partners, even romantic ones. Discussions might need to be had if we feel neglected, but that's the same in any relationship.
My system might end up with some kind of feelings for multiple people/systems who are in this server, or might end up with queerplatonic feelings for some people and romantic feelings for others. While I am not predominantly seeking queerplatonic relationships right now, I am open to labeling a relationship that way if that is how it feels to both of us and we both want to.
I have never had an out-of-system relationship that consisted of three or more people - that is, polyamory in the sense of multiple people dating each other at the same time - and I might not always know how to navigate it, but I am willing to try it if it occurs naturally here.
We would prefer to date another system, ideally another polyfragmented, complex, and/or programmed system. However, singlets are allowed, especially if they would fit our other preferences, and if they are reasonably aware of systems already or willing to learn.
What we're looking for
We're looking for someone who is pleasant to be around and is overall a nice person, that ideally fits the preferences mentioned in "about-extended, to be a romantic partner or partner system for our partner.
We do not want our partner to be the center of our life, but we do want to talk frequently with them. We live in California and would like to date someone in the same time zone as us, or at least a time zone that's in the U.S. It would be nice if you could visit in person, but this is not required.
You don't necessarily have to be from the U.S., but if you are, I can send you packages of gifts in the mail, like little things I can get in town or make myself. We don't really voice call due to having a lot of roommates and lacking privacy, but we DM frequently and can send pictures (SFW and ones taken with kink intent, within boundaries that will be discussed or naturally come up).
We'd like a partner who is able to validate our identity, mostly by being a man attracted to men, as these relationships inherently feel different to us, but also by giving us gendered compliments and act in a gender affirming way towards us in general.
We would also like someone who can understand us, relate to us, and make us feel less alone, especially with regards to things like our intersex experience and our programming. Being understood is an important part of romance and relationships to us. However, we understand we won't necessarily meet someone just like us, and someone doesn't have to be just like us for us to love them.
We'd also like to meet people to be friends with and talk one on one with frequently, who are similar in age to us and can relate to some things about our life.
Kink isn't a necessary part of the relationship, but it would be nice, and some elements of the relationship (e.g. therians acting like animals) may resemble kink.